


Budding BROmance

by Chinchela



Series: BROmance [1]
Category: Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: Drinking, Dudebros, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Other, Set In Pre-Lore Olympus Time Line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:43:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chinchela/pseuds/Chinchela
Summary: “Hey, You wanna see something awesome?”“Not really!”“Too bad!” Hermes cackled and socked Apollo in the arm before dragging him off outside, with an overfull goblet in his other hand.“Hey Dumbass, the girls are in there!” Apollo complained while being yanked out into the night air away from the celebration. Swiftly Hermes pulled Apollo up the steps of a nearby structure built of white marble with gold accents. Just at the top of the steps was a huge carved statue of none other than Hermes himself. Well, sort of. It resembled Hermes in some ways but from the proper uptight posture, the more regal expression and fact that it was sculpted stark ass naked (aside from his staple winged sandals and that horribly dorky helmet), one would say it looked more like a monument to Hermes' weird deceased nudist twin brother.
Series: BROmance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794949
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12





	Budding BROmance

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set pre-Lore Olympus story line. 
> 
> To put it frankly, there is goofy Apollo/Hermes bromance here. If you can't enjoy it for what it is, you can't say I didn't warn you. I'm not here for your general Apollo hate.  
> Bromance =/= romance (they don't fuck, you guys! Its okay!)

“Can I just say, it’ll be a dark day when the mortals invent underwear,” Hermes joked while flapping the robes of his disguise enjoying the breezy sensation on his everythings. 

Apollo laughed, “Right?!” 

The pair had snuck off to the mortal realm to have a night of fun with no strings attached. The plan was to drink, attend a party, hopefully find some girls and have a blast.

After many hours of dancing, drinking, flirting, drinking and mingling more, Hermes pulled Apollo by the arm. 

“Hey, You wanna see something awesome?” 

“Not really!”

“Too bad!” Hermes cackled and socked Apollo in the arm before dragging him off outside, with an overfull goblet in his other hand.

“Hey Dumbass, the girls are in there!” Apollo complained while being yanked out into the night air away from the celebration. Swiftly Hermes pulled Apollo up the steps of a nearby structure built of white marble with gold accents. Just at the top of the steps was a huge carved statue of none other than Hermes himself. Well, sort of. It resembled Hermes in some ways but from the proper uptight posture, the more regal expression and fact that it was sculpted stark ass naked (aside from his staple winged sandals and that horribly dorky helmet), one would say it looked more like a monument to Hermes' weird deceased nudist twin brother.

“Check out what the mortals did!!” Hermes presented proudly. He circled the statue excitedly. “They got my dick all wrong, but how could I expect them to know just how majestical I truly am!” 

Apollo burst out in laughter. He couldn’t contain it. The statue was too much. He was unprepared. His eyes began to water and he wheezed. 

“The dick is the only part that DOES look like you! Caution, small parts can cause choking!” 

Hermes cackled in response and shoved Apollo who shoved him right back. 

“Fuck you, Dude! Really though! I got a statue!” he beamed. 

“Cool story bro, I have like fifty.” Apollo bragged.

“That just means statues of you are a dime a dozen! Hermes statues are rare…!” Hermes winked while wagging a finger in Apollo’s face,”Besides...Look at this quality!” Hermes gushed, adoring the shiny marble wings on the statue's sandals. Apollo drew his bow, pulled back an arrow and let it fly. In an instant the arrow sped through the air, across the temple steps and right into the sculpture of Hermes’ weird naked twin brother, breaking the cock right off. 

“HAH! Doesn’t seem like such high quality to me!” Apollo laughed triumphantly, watching the stone penis clatter down the stairs and out of sight. 

“DUDE! SO UNCOOL! It takes the mortals a lot of time to make those you know! They can’t just put that shit back!” he fussed over the sculptures missing dick. Apollo only continued laughing, trying to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry man, I didn’t think it would BREAK OFF!” he confessed before laughing more. 

Hermes only crossed his arms and stood indignantly in front of the incomplete sculpture. He couldn’t help but smirk as he watched Apollo try to regain composure. 

“Should I go find your bits? You can give them to your future wife!” Apollo howled in hilarity at his own stupid jokes. 

Hermes raised an eyebrow in amusement, and took a swig of his drink “You done, idiot?” 

Apollo whisked away the last remaining laughter-tear and collected himself, “Yeah, I’m done...I’m done..” Heaving a sigh, the two slunk down onto the temple steps, “If it makes you feel any better, the mortals never got my dick right either.”

Hermes and Apollo lounged comfortably along the cool smooth marble staircase.Their cheeks were flushed from drinking and laughing. The chill of the steps felt good against their tanned skin. Faint chatter and music could be heard over the breeze from the festive gathering in the nearby building, where the two had just been. Several other party-goers were scattered about outside enjoying a bonfire, chatting, vomiting, or sneaking off together while they had the chance. 

Hermes tossed his head back and took another generous gulp of moonshine from his gourd shaped goblet. He heaved a heavy exhale after swallowing and hissed at the sting of the strong drink. 

“HOO!” Hermes hollered with adrenaline shaking his head. 

“C’mon! It’s not that bad!” Apollo chided with a smirk, snatched Hermes’ cup, took a large swig and swallowed. His face tensed up and Hermes could see the tendons in his neck flex momentarily. Apollo tried to remain stoic as if the alcohol didn’t burn in his sinuses. 

“HAH! You can’t handle it either!!” Hermes teased and doubled over laughing, clutching his sides, “Your face!” 

Apollo glared at Hermes and then turned his nose up. 

“I handled it just fine, thank you very much!” he declared proudly. 

“Then take another drink!” Hermes challenged. 

“No thanks. I’m not thirsty,” Apollo rebuffed before turning his attention to a pair of mortal women also seated among the sprawling steps, “...for drinks anyways…” He raised a sultry eyebrow at the women who giggled and looked away shyly.

Hermes’ eyes shifted from Apollo over to the focus of his attention. Seated around twenty feet from them and up a few steps, sat a pair of young beautiful mortal ladies with long dark hair; one had a thick braid woven with flowers, the other’s hair hung freely over her sun kissed shoulders and was adorned with gold jewelry. Their dresses were pale and made of gauzy fabric that hung lightly over their curves with high slits up the sides revealing their smooth bronze legs. 

“Hello there!” Apollo said while shifting into a more upright position. He raised his hand in a slight wave. 

“Hello~!” The girls replied flirtily, embarrassingly swatting at each other. 

_Insatiable horn-dog_

Hermes laughed to himself as he watched Apollo get up and saunter his way over to them. He tossed back another guzzle of moonshine. 

“Good evening ladies!” Apollo greeted happily and took a seat a few steps higher than them. “You two look lovely this evening.” He shamelessly flirted for a few minutes, giving them all of his most dazzling smiles and charming compliments before taking on a more serious tone. 

“Hey listen…You see my friend over there?” 

He gestured discreetly over to Hermes who sat all alone on the temple steps, drinking and enjoying the warmth of the summer air. 

“Uh huh..” ‘Flower hair’ replied following the direction of Apollo’s gaze. 

“Well, you see, he really wanted to say ‘hi’ to you both, but he’s way too shy. Maybe one of you could go talk to him, help him warm up a bit?” he confessed apologetically. He rubbed the back of his neck for emphasis, “It’s tragic how little intimacy he gets because of his----” he cut himself off. It was too hard to say it. He couldn’t go on. But he must. 

Hermes could see Apollo in the corner of his eye but couldn’t hear anything the three were talking about at that distance. He could tell that Apollo was putting on the theatrics though. 

_Which sob story is he telling this time?_

Before long, a gorgeous greek woman with flowers braided into her hair approached Hermes. He turned his head to face her and smiled as she took a seat cautiously next to him. 

“Hello.” she said timidly. 

“Hey! Great party huh?” he flashed a grin that made her go pink in the cheeks. 

“It is!” she agreed before scooting a little bit closer to the supposedly shy man. Hermes smirked when their shoulders finally touched. She gave him a rueful smile and tugged at his arm. 

“Would you like to go dance with me?” she asked gently so as to not frighten the poor boy away. 

“I’d love to!” Hermes replied boldly. He sloshed the last of his drink into his mouth and swallowed it loudly with a gulp! He stood up and looked over to where his friend was seated to find him and his new date making their way back to the party. 

“Hey wait up!” he called to them, completely ruining the facade Apollo had carefully set in place for him. Apollo only waved over his shoulder. A signal Hermes took to mean,’im busy’. 

“...or not!” he laughed offendedly and offered his hand to help his dance partner to her feet. She suspiciously took his hand but smiled nonetheless. He sure didn’t seem shy. 

Hermes playfully dragged his new lady-friend back to the party, dancing her around the room. She snatched a drink off of a nearby platter and offered it to Hermes lips. He grinned and choked it down, struggling to keep his cool even half as well as Apollo had earlier.

Without warning the suddenly lustful mortal threw herself against Hermes chest, planting a sloppy open mouth kiss on his lips. The room spun a little, or maybe it was the mortal girl pushing him backwards, directing him down a hallway and into a room. Hermes had no idea where he was anymore but this room had pillows, and a fruit platter and a smokin’ hot mortal babe in it so as far as he was concerned, he was home. 

He toppled backward over the cushions and landed on his back while Miss Flower Hair swarmed his face with her own. She smothered him in hot slippery kisses. His eyes went fuzzy. There went his shirt. Was she taking her dress off? He squeezed his eyes shut and laughed into her mouth. She came to realize he wasn’t as shy as his comrade had indicated. 

\--------------

Coming down from their romp, Hermes rolled over off of his partner and settled in next to her on the plush pillows. He let out a breath and chuckled, “Great party, huh?” 

She let out a laugh and rested her head on his sweaty chest, idly running her fingers over his muscles. 

“...You know… You’re not nearly as shy as I expected…” she said amused while she circled his belly button with her index finger. 

“Me? Shy??” Hermes asked perplexed. 

“..Your friend… He said you wanted to say hi, but were too shy…” 

_You slick son-of-a-bitch...Scumbag but A+ wingman!_

“HAH! What a jerk selling me out like that!” Hermes joked.

She nuzzled his cheek affectionately, “...I couldn’t just leave you there, lonely….” she kissed down his jaw. He basked in her affections with a dopey grin on his face, “Especially after he told me about your little...problem.” 

Hermes perked up at that comment. 

“My problem?” He asked sitting up, genuine confusion on his face. 

“Oh! I didn’t mean problem! It’s not a problem!” She stuttered, “What I mean is, it didn’t seem to affect you tonight…!” the flustered mortal girl yammered on, trying to word her phrases carefully to not offend the ‘shy boy with a little problem’. 

“Hahah, Wait wait. What problem!?” Hermes took her hands into his own and faced her, looking directly into her increasingly confused green eyes.  
“You know!....The problem with your…” she cautiously glanced at Hermes cock and then back to his eyes. 

“My…” his eyes followed hers, “...Did he tell you I can’t get it up!?” Hermes unceremoniously blurted out with a discerning laugh, “Wait...Was I a pity fuck!? Did you pity fuck me?!” he cackled. He wasn’t sure why he thought the whole thing was so funny. He could honestly say he had never been pity fucked before. Sure, he’d been the pity-fucking FUCKER, but not the fuckee! The fucked? 

Flower Hair’s face turned beat red.

His laughter slowly faded and he gave the speechless mortal a smouldery grin, cocking one eyebrow. 

“Well in that case. How about now... you can make an informed decision…” he breathed huskily. With half lidded eyes, he gently brought his hand to her chin and leaned in for another kiss. 

The couple jumped with a yelp when they heard the door open and a purple face peeked in with an irritated eyebrow. 

“Hey Dickless, wrap it up, it’s late! We gotta go!” Apollo called into the room, eyes averted so as to not see anything ‘sex’ related. Flower hair snatched a pillow from the pile and quickly covered herself. She remained silent and could only watch on, mortified and bewildered. The ever ‘not-shy’ Hermes didn’t seem bothered at all by his friends' intrusion and more annoyed that he had to leave.  
.  
“They must be close,” she thought. 

“I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FEEL ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW!” Hermes complained loudly and threw his hands in the air. While standing up, he collected his clothes, and put them on in a hurry, making no attempts for modesty in the meantime. 

He gave an apologetic smile to his one-night-stand. He leaned in close to her ear, “Sorry...and thanks!...even if it was a pity fuck!” With a wink and flirtatious nod, Hermes slipped out the door following Apollo into the night. 

Apollo gave Hermes a knowing smirk. Hermes could only laugh. 

“You are such a dick, dude!”

“Love you too, man.”

**Author's Note:**

> More to come! Either your welcome or I'm sorry. Take whichever applies to you.


End file.
